Another December is falling to its end

Life is rocketing pretty fast, huh, even faster. I'm officially 20 in this October. Twenty plus two months to be exact. Just feel so old. *upssorry :D

Next month is already 2013. Look! Another December is falling to its end. Another year ends. Another new year comes. Do your resolutions have achieved? Or just burst like a bubble? Lemme recall my resolution in the very beginning of this year.. .. and suddenly I laugh so hard.

366 days. I promise to write minimum one post a day throughout the year. This post numbers should be around 300 something and it's only 80. Due to limited access of internet connection, yeah I have a very lame modem! it's not nice either, writing blog in campus or warnet. *jaman sekarang masih ada warnet? #eh*. You know, I feel insecure. Like everybody is watching me writing. HAHAHAHA. But don't worry, I keep my promise. I have my diary alive till today.

I have a friend. He is someone whom my early post in January refer to. My campus mate. We don't know each other until I made a project with him. I realllllyy want to knooooooooooow how's his life going on. Yes, kepo. Because, he's one of human who first, don't believe anything include God. Second, don't have a 'home' as he used to say. Third, and friends. Fourth, like he is the only man stands in this whole world on the north when everybody goes to the south. However, his body is following us to the south. At any rate, that's what I see. I just wanna figure it out. What happens? segitu gak percayanya sama orang. segitu keselnya sama hidup. segitu sombongnya sampe gak mau nyembang Tuhan yang udah nyiptain dia. ada apa? that's what I want to know.

Since December last year, I started to make a move. I approached him. First thing first, It's not a love story. I just don't wanna make you misunderstood about me just like everybody did, key?..And then the story goes till we meet December again. Did I get something? Yes, a lot. I learnt many things instead. I learnt how to say sorry. I am the queen of mistakes, but I am also the queen of cowardliness. I have difficulty to say sorry even my heart regret it so bad. I learnt about how precious my family is. I learnt that I already have EVERYTHING! I should praise God more for this. You help me to achieve my resolution: Grow up. Thank you, boy... and yet, I fail to make you happy. 

Happy because of friends.

Don't you know that I try to be your friend? You disappointed me. You said many things that make me mad. Okay. I hate you but still, I think I'm your friend. Friends should not leave although her/his friends make them mad. But, you leave me when I'm useless. That's! You said I'm useless? How damn!

Well, sorry. I’d rather ignore you than having people’s judgement that I like you. It’s suuuuuck. Because I don’t like you in term of falling in love, not that I hate you. Get that point?  Like, I wanna be your friends, but ah, why do we have different gender?  

Grow up. No comment. I just feel like, I'm changing. I realize that actually there isn't any defining moment when we grow up. It's gradual process. Friends of mine, lots of them around 20 or above and they're still getting there. In particular moment, they become childish and I feel like I'm more mature than them. In other moment, I become childish and they're much more mature than me. 

x.o.xo
RA