!@#$%^&*(*&^%$#@#$%

Tadi aku ganti aki karena ya karena motor gak bisa nyala. Ndorong dari kosan ke bengkel huhuhu. Untungnya deket, tapi ya itu.. maleu aka maluk diliatin orang sepanjang jalan *risiko orang cantik* *muntah dipersilakan*. Aku gak tau sama sekali soal perbengkelan. Aku serahin semua ke abangnya. Abis 180 ribu. Cari-cari di internet harganya kisaran segitu plus jasa abangnya. Yaudah sih. Yaaa terus kan bensin abis, aku langsung isi bensin abis dari bengkel yang kebetulan SPBU ada disebelah gak gitu jauh. Pas udahan isi bensin, di tengah jalan aku nyoba belnya. EH MESIN TIBA-TIBA MATIK!! MAMPUS!!! Aduh males banget harus ngedorong. Males jadi perhatian orang *huek* Jadi ya gitu aku starter terus tapi gak bisa nyala. Udah ditolongin dua orang yang lewat, terus orang-orang yang lewatpada ngeliatin sambil bilang "Di sela mbak, disela". MANA KUAT?! Kan kalo motor aku harus di standar tengahin dulu. Yeah dan yang ngebantuin gak bisa juga. Okelaaaaaah. Ndorong lagi ke bengkel yang tadi. Mana puanaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas lagi Jakarta akhir-akhir ini. Uh! Terus sama abang bengkel dibenerin eh bisa.

Takutnya nanti pas aku pake lagi, mati lagi. Kan gak lucuk.
Jangan kenapa-kenapa dong moci :(

RIGHT NOW

This week was a big mess. I got complain from my student’s parent because I was out of reach. Yeah, lately I ignored my phone. I didn’t come last Tuesday to teach Aldi. My phone was off because of low battery. Today, it happened again. My phone was left out in my friends’ house. Aldi sent me messages at 11 am. At that time I was going to Stekpi (how should I say ‘pasar kaget’ in English.. Stekpi is sort of it) and I didn’t bring my phone.  He asked me to come at 2 pm, surely I didn’t know, my phone was not in me. Then I went home and didn’t take my phone. Fool! Aldi called me to ask me to come and my friends picked it up to say yes.

Last Tuesday, I went to Blenger Burger. I knew that Aldi wanted me to come at 7pm. However, I didn’t know why I went to Blenger instead of Aldi’s home. The worst my phone was off. I got called by Aldi, his mom, and my manager. They got mad at me because I didn’t come and didn’t give any reply both for message and calling. FOOL! I knew it will happen, but I kept continue to go to Blenger :( huhuhu

That kid! Aldi is my private student. He is very spoiled. He gets angry every time his demand unfulfilled. He gets mad to his maids every time they don’t come at first scream. His mom is very nice and follow along his demand and interest. If he gets mad, his mom also gets mad. But he’s funny and not that scary as long as people around him (including me) fulfill his demand and need. Yeah. He's lovely overall. He's just like the other teens. I'm happy become his teacher. I'm happy ;)

The point is, I almost get fired.

I can’t stand if people mad at me. I’m scared. I used to avoid instead of face it. I’m too scared dealing with people who mad at me. But I know I can’t do that forever. I have to face it. I have to take my responsibility and consequences. I can’t joke about people. Aaaaaaaaaaakkk!!! It’s hard to survive in this life. Yeah. Life is not only about happiness! Mostly it’s all about sadness, regret, and fear! Not to avoid and have to conquer the consequences. It’s normal when people mad at you because of your work. It’s in your hand whether you fix it or leave it.

Be responsible, please dear. People are something that you can’t mess around. Never try it, it’s better '',)9

p.s --> my motorcycle doesn't work maybe because of low accu and my room keys were lost. Perfect!

MY LIFE IS A TOTAL MESS! I HAVE TO FIX IT~~~~~~~~

Cinta dalam Sepotong Roti

I think I should ask you about it, before it's waaaay too late
but still I can't beat up my ego .. my pride -______-

I miss you

can't smile without you

do you have any songs that suddenly make you happy everytime you listen to it? smile for no reason, not addressed to particular people, just happy. For me,  the song is Can't Smile Without You by Barry Manilow \0/

You know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile without you

Sounds bullshit and gombal abis, but the melody says no. The music is enchanting! and I just can't stop singing this song with my voice *suara saya itu, kayak orang kelelep di lautan, bayangin aja*

KENAPA HARUS TANGGAL 3?

Hai, tengah malem gini masih jaman ya tidur? HAHAHAHA *self-toyor* jadi gue gak bisa tidur karena udah tiga hari ini tidur mulu bak putri tidur :)) Kemaren jumat gue tepar mendadak, paginya sih nggak papa, tapi abis makan siang tuh langsung meriang. Gue kira masuk angin, gue sampe minum tolak angin dua. Taunya demam tinggi banget. Temen kosan beserta ibu kos pada riwueh suruh ke dokter, ke rumah sakit, suruh gue pulang ke rumah. Gue paling maleeeees ke dokter! apalagi ke rumah sakit. Yaelah demam gini mah biasa kali, ntar paginya udah sembuh. Ya udah sih gue iya aja disuruh ke dokter, lagipula tanggal 3 ada acara penting. Jadi gue pengen cepet sembuh *lah emang biasanya nggak* Taunyaaaa sabtu pagi masih demam tinggi! Turun cuman pas abis minum obat, terus naik lagi. Orang tua dirumah juga riweuh, suruh opname. Aduuuuh. Yaudah gue iya aja pas disuruh check darah di rumah sakit. YA AMPUN ITU YAAAA berangkat jam 7, pulang ke kos jam 11! Udah sempoyongan, mual, demam, gue harus nunggu proses administrasi-antri dokter-antri panggilan lab-antri hasil lab-balik lagi ke dokter-antri lagi-nebus obat antri lagi. berasa sekarat *maap agak lebay* DEMINYA BIAR BESOK PAGI GUE SEMBUH! *baca: Minggu, 3 Maret*

Dari akhir Februari, gue udah wanti-wanti, udah kosongin jadwal. Bener-bener kosongin jadwal. Ada tiga kegiatan yang pas banget tanggal 3 semua, gue nego akhirnya bisa kosong dan iyasih gue harus lepas 1 volunteerism di acara kesehatan WHO.

DAN EMANG GUE HARUS LEPAS SEMUANYA. GUE MASIH DEMAM. PERIKSA LAB ADA GEJALA TIPES MESKI CUMA 1/160. GUE TAK BERDAYA DI KOSAN. *tsaah bahasanye mpok*

dan kenapa sakit pun harus tanggal 3? maksud Tuhan apa ya? :')

p.s

sekarang udah agak adem kok. yaa anget-anget imut gitu suhu tubuh guenya hihihi. terima kasih buat @haniezha dan @sofyuclugh yang merelakan malam minggunya buat nganter ke rumah sakit, yang gue sendiri gak napsu tapi mereka setia banget nunggu. Juga buat @annnyyo yang nemenin hari ini seharian, yang kalo gue tidur dia ikut tidur, gue makan dia ikut makan. buat ibukos dengan segala kebaikannya ngurus gue, dan teman-teman yang lain yang ikut mendoakan! Doa kalian terkabul! Aku sembuh yeaaay! Alhamdulillah!

Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop (Landon Pigg)

I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you 
Yes, there's a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you 
I've seen the paths that your eyes wander down, I wanna come too  
I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you

How if I'm falling for you? Falling so hard till make this heart hurts?

How if you know, will you regret anything that you know about me?

How if suddenly you are falling to me? Will you ..

  I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you 
  Yes, there's a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you
  I've seen the waters that make your eyes shine, now I'm shining too 
  Because, oh, because I've fallen quite hard over over you

Because, oh, because I've fallen quite hard over over you. I don't know the reason too. Say it has been 3 years? I never thought I would feel this way, cause yeah cause it's impossible, I think.

If I didn't know you, I'd rather not know 

If I couldn't have you, I'd rather be alone
I never knew just what it was  

I never knew just what it was
About this old coffee shop I love so much
All of the while I never knew

Don't you get the song? It hits me, ikr. I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop I love so much, all of the while I never knew 

oh jadi gini rasanya galau and WHY MUST BE IN WRONG TIME WITH WRONG PERSON (probably)? WHY NOW? WHY HIM? WHY DON'T ANOTHER PERSON? WHY MUST BE SOMEONE THAT I HAVE KNOWN. AAAARWR #KALEM #KALEEEEM

by the way, this song is amazing and depressing in the same time. yeah

Midnight Dream

Someday when my age is around 24th. My body will be little bit taller and smaller. A red blush on my cheeks. Two perfect shapes of eyeliner on my eyes. I won't wear jeans anymore. There is a person who will fall in love with me. And my eyes will shine, cause a year or maybe two years after this, I'm gonna get married.

...

I will find a job. Anything. No target. I hope I'll get a nice job! Just that. During that time, I'll try my luck to apply scholarship. Abroad! Then in the time when I go back to campus again to take my master degree, I'll travel a lot. Studying and traveling! I'll discover the world. I'll spend my time to do all things that I can't do when I already become a wife of someone. 

...

When the day come I'll become a mother. I'll dedicate my life to be a teacher for the rest of my life. I'll write stories or books. I'll keep chasing my dream to publish my own book. Thus before this time comes, I have to complete my bucket list. I will work as anything, both to earn money or just collect some experiences. I'll go here and there. I'll do anything that kills my curiosity. I'll become a little bit naughty once again.