Me VS My Sister

Beginilah jadinya kalo hasrat nulis ga penting di blog lebih besar dari pada nulis analisis BAB 4. Jadi tadi aku abis liat poto ade aku di BBM. Hell yeah emang dia cantik sih. Terus aku liat poto aku sendiri. Dan tiba-tiba aku menyadari arti hidup ini (apabanget). 

Ini muka bolang nunggu bis lama banget -_-

Ini muka ala-ala mba-mba instagram berhestek #hijabgurl

Kita emang beda. Jauh. Hahaha. Baik dari fisik, kemampuan, sifat, cara pikir, semua-muanya. Aku yang liar dan ade aku yang manis (maap ya sodara-sodara yang ga kenal aku banget emang aku bermuka dua haha liar dan alim) Aku yang cuek seakan tak peduli tapi emang sih ga peduli dan Nina yang terlalu peka. Aku suka berpetualang dan dia suka di rumah. Aku ratu bolang anak layangan (haha alay dong? zzz ) dan dia princess.  Udah jelas banget kan bedanya? Tapi aku sih ngga masalah haha. Eh dulu sih masalah..

Terus kenapa kalau aku gini dan Nina gitu? Terus kenapa kalau kita beda jauh? Aku kadang enek aja sama komentar orang-orang. Pengen aku lempar sarang tawon ke mereka. Haha kasian ih, Momo jahat. Dulu aku bawannya marah-marah kalo ada yang suka ngebanding-bandingin antara aku dan ade aku. Sewot sendiri, ngata-ngatain sok intelek macam "Ih mereka pada gatau apa 8 multiple intelligences? Hari gini masih banding-bandingin orang dari satu sisi aja!! Huf huf* (intelek darimuanaa)

tapi sekarang engga. Aku udah bisa menerima keanehan ini haha. Idih ini ngakuin diri sendiri aneh. Haha, ngga kok aku ga aneh. cuma agak sedikit miring yang bikin alis nyatu dan keluar kata "ih apasih" dari mulut. ya mendekati freak lah. Sama aja atuh neng -_- inget umur mo hahah katanya mau jadi dewasa hm. Jadi menurut aku ini adalah bukti kedewasaan aku (atau malah kemunduran? haha) Karena aku bisa berpikir ga cuma sebatas permukaan doang. Ga cuma sebatas rupa. Aku bisa memahami perbedaan kami dan menerima perbedaan itu menjadi sebuah keunikan masih-masing. Aku jadi melihat orang itu ngga dari yang nampak (emang kamu bisa ngeliat aura mo? ngga gitu juga sih haha ya apa ya.. ) intinya kayak kata Harper Lee, kutipan favorit aku..

"Kita gak pernah bisa memahami seseorang hingga kita hidup dibalik kulitnya, menjalani hidup dengan caranya, dan melihat dari sudut pandangnya"

Kurang lebih kayak gitu, hehe. Jadi ya, gitu. Apasih ini -_- Pokoknya ya aku juga lagi belajar ga ngeliat orang dari sisi yang nampak aja. Gitu sih. Gak jelas kan? Judulnya aja ga nyambung sama isinya -_-




note ke diri sendiri:
Udah ah, berhenti ngacapruk ga jelas. Ayo kembali kejar mimpimu, Mo! Haha liat tuh temen-temenmu, ga pengen apa berhasil mewujudkan mimpinya ? Ayo mo! Ih, kamu mah pemalas. Haha. Liat sekarang ketinggalan jauh, ih. YUK AH BANGKIT DARI MASA KEGELAPAN! *nyalain lampu*

Kabar Hari Ini

Hari ini aku ketemu sama temen aku yang paling menyebalkan se-sususan tata surya. Temen hina-hina (lebih tepatnya aku yang sering dihina dan tiap aku hina dia selalu punya cara buat hina balik terus aku jadi skak mat), temen berantem, temen yang paling sering bikin sakit hati. Meski gitu aku selalu percaya dia adalah seorang teman yang baik --yang tiap kali ketemu dia selalu aja bisa ngerusak keyakinanku ini-- dasar emang menyebalkan.

Namanya Doni. Temen sekelas dari SMP. Lima tahun aku sekelas sama Doni dan gak pernah deket. Maksudku, aku cuma tau Doni selama di kelas aja. Terus pas kuliah aku lumayan sering main ke Bandung. Jadi makin kesini makin tau Doni kayak apa. Sebenernya juga bukan Doni doang sih, temen-temen yang lain juga. Ya maklum lah, (dulu) aku ga terlalu ngeh keadaan sekitar fufufu.

Anak ini bisa dibilang beruntung yang aku pikir dia juga layak menerima keberuntungan ini. Dia bisa masuk ITB lewat jalur beasiswa dan termasuk lulusan terbaik sekolah pas UN SMA. Oke, aku kalah soal akademik ke Doni T_T Eh tapi aku emang ga kepingin masuk ITB. Pilihan pertama aku sampe nolak dua univ ya tetep SSE! Faculty of Education ;) Jadi gabisa di bilang kalah juga :P

Balik lagi ke Doni, agak geli membayangkan posisi kita masing-masing saat ini. Kalau ditelusuri, aku temenan sama Doni dari umur 13. Sekarang kita udah umur 21. Ya ampun tua ajaaaa kita. Dan aku masih gini-gini aja, belom dapet pacar juga. Hiks. Jadi inget pas kelas satu SMA, kita outbound di Malang. Pas mau bikin barisan tiap kelompok (aku beda kelompok sama Doni dan kebetulan kelompok kita duduknya sebelahan), kita disuruh baris menurut jumlah mantan. Hwadeh. Otomatis aku langsung kebelakang (IYAA PALING BELAKANG). Aku uda duduk manis dan pas nengok sebelah kiri, eh ada makhluk itu. Hahaha. Terus kalo ga salah kita ketawa, saling ngehina. Abis itu dia nyari pacar dan sekarang masih punya pacar aja. Oke. Ini juga aku kalah dari Doni T_T

Jadi, tadi Doni ke Jakarta buat ngurusin visa. Aku harus ngasih selamat sebesar-besarnya ke Doni. Aku kalah lagi! Dia uda mau keluar negeri duluan. Doni mau internship di Thailand. Tiga bulan, dari Mei - Juli. Artinya, pas lebaran nanti gak ketemu Doni dong di kumpul-kumpul kelas? Yah gak lengkap dong kelas. Kayaknya aku bakal kangen sama anak itu pas kumpulan ntar *terus aku diketekin pacarnya kalo dia juga baca ini*

Ternyata anak yang paling menyebalkan ini hebat juga ya. Somehow, you make me burn. Aku juga pasti bisa. Bukan mau dipamerin kok ke kamu kok nanti kalau aku bisa +1 dari kamu.. hahaha. Yang pasti kita harus jadi orang yang berhasil ya, Don. Jadi orang yang keren yang cita-citanya kecapai. Selamat, Doni! Mimpiku kamu wujudkan duluan. Aku nyusul ntar!!! Nggak nyusul ke sana juga sih, maksudnya nyusul kewujudin mimpi :D

Ya Allah jangan sampe dia baca blogku, bisa bisa dia ngerasa menang, terus ketawa-ketawa terus hina-hina aku nanti. Daripada dihina-hina, Don, mending aku didoain. Biar skripsi lancar, terus aku cepet dapet kerja, ditempat yang layak, dengan gaji yang layak, dan akhirnya aku layak jalan-jalan kemanapun aku mau! Juga aku mau biar aku cepat ditemukan sama jodoh aku. Hahaha *banyak mau*

Kalau Doni ngebales tulisan ini bisa ditebak lah dia bakal ngomong apa.
"Alai tenan"

SKDJFHSKDJHF

Ajari aku caranya berharap dan tidak tiba-tiba berhenti ketika suatu hal menghalangi. Ajari aku bagaimana cara menaruh harapan agar aku tidak seperti berjudi, meletakkan sebesar-besarnya harapan dan tak bisa mengira aku menang atau kalah. Jika aku kalah, ajari aku agar bisa berbesar hati ketika harapan tidak sesuai keinginan.  Maka, bisa kau ajari aku supaya harapan aku tidak bertepuk sebelah tangan? Aku tidak tahu kenapa berharap bisa semenyebalkan ini.

Aaaarrgh!

ps:
Bisa tolong kamu pergi dulu dari sistem pikiranku?
Aku mau ngerjain skripsi T_T

Empty

So here it goes, now I'm feeling nothing.....................................suddenly. Like, it's empty. I lose my happiness but I'm not sad too. I feel nothing. If life has its ups and downs, I don't know where I belong. Maybe I'm floating in between. Well, I don't really like feeling nothing. I miss how my blood rushes in my vein for good things that happen in my life.  I miss how some moments challenge me to get what I want.  I miss how he makes me nervous when he's around. I miss my class. I miss my campus. I miss my friends. I need a mood-booster.

!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your time is running out and you know it well. The finish line is getting closer. You need to plug up your spirit to run faster. Look around, your friends are also trying hard to step on the finish line. If you can't keep your spirit up, then who else does?

AYOOOO MOMOOOO SEMANGAAAAAAAAAT! Habis ini aku kasih reward, kamu boleh main sepuasnya kemana aja! Oke? Janji tapi ya sama aku, kalo kamu harus semangat tiap hari ngga boleh engga. Sholat yang rajin, berdoa, puasa, tirakat. Allah pasti bantu dengan sebaik-baiknya kalo kamu juga berusaha. 

IEM

Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over.”  ― Gloria Naylor

It was always a nice memory, my junior high school, because I met this girl. The annoying one, the queen of the classroom, popular among the boys, sexy, and smart. My other half back then. My partner in crime. My best one.  Now, we are already become young ladies. I don't know how she changed and she doesn't know how I changed too, to be a grown-up.. because we didn't play much since I moved to Jakarta four years ago. I really miss that moment when we were together, doing random-and-silly-but-fun-and-happy things. 

Time may changes us, but not our friendship. Happy birthday, young lady! Let's inspire each other. Wish you be happy and find cool things everyday \m/

x.o.x.o
Moo

p.s aku benci kamu sekarang yem, kamu lebih kurus daripada aku. 

Secret #1

I had short haircut when I was in second grade of senior high school. Then, I cut off my bangs by myself. It was too short, very very short, hiks. It was the biggest mistake in my life, hiks. My mom and dad were mad and it seemed that they didn't want to regard me as their daughter. I felt like disowned. Haha. I was very ugly and weird. My friends stared at me as if I was an alien or any creature which was not human-like. My teachers often asked me what happen with my bangs with their shocked and curious-- yet annoying face, I-just-smiled. I wanted to go out from earth. Shamefull. I was extremely weird, I know guys T-T 

for those whose hearts I am breaking

Dear Kuyung and Rideung,

I know you are still mad at me because I broke a promise, couple day ago not going to 3030 with you. I know it hurt you. I don't know how- how to say a proper sorry. I know saying sorry is not enough. Everything is not going to puff and then gone right after I say sorry. Maybe time heals. Maybe I should wait for some days and yeah, to meet you. I have no guts to go to you now. I know I can't fix it. I want to look for the way to heal your broken hearts. I feel so horrible :'(

Dear Rideung, your tweets are somehow making me sad, too. It's very bad. Your thoughts, to me.

1. "Lord has shown me your true color"
2. "You're waving a war flag. Please welcome"
3. "Remember to put a PAUSE. Are we bored or something?"
4. "You are boring"
5.  "Aku tahu kamu boong dan senyuman palsu itu kau hadirkan untukku. Aku jadi mikir, selama ini apa sih aku di mata kamu?"
6. "Jujur aja, mungkin takkan kayak gini. Jujur aja, mungkin takkan terpikir untuk membenci. Jujur aja, mungkin aku bisa memaklumi"
7. "You are very innocent. No it's a damn lie that I've ever written in my entire life"
8.  "Now, I'm showing you, how your lie bothers me a lot. I've complained. I'm almost angry but I love you"
9.  "I'll always stay here. Even, when you stray around"
10.  "Jujurlah nanti. Makasih. Sekian"
11.  "Mereun aya nu teu nyaah ka abi. Nganyenyeri ka abi. Dihampura ku abi da heartless jigana mah. Sakitu. Hahaha

You didn't mention me but I feel like it's for me. So I try to answer these no-mention tweets too.

1.  What's my true color? it's about bad things? Am I that bad in your eyes?
2.  Is this tweet for me? Then, war? What do you mean by war? You feel like I attack you? I want to kill you? I fight you?
3. What's pause ? Why do you guys think that you are bored? bored or boring ?
4. I am
5. Boong ? What's another thing you think about me? and I didn't make a fake smile. Well, I hate myself for smiling that time. You may know I love to smile, like, I  put wrong face emotion in wrong situation. I shouldn't smile I know but I smile, but it didn't mean I'm happy or really smiling, you should know that, that smile is I don't know why I was smiling. If I could make a proper emotion, I wouldn't smile seriously. What are you in my eyes? You're Rideung. My best friend.
6. You hate me. Well, I am sorry to make you hate me. What's honesty that you want to hear? What do you actually expect?
7. If I could, not to be innocent, I would. If I could be a good friend I would. I'd love to be that kind of person who cares to you, who loves you.  Show my affection. But I'm not that type of person who likes to show affection to others. Do sweet things. I can't. I like to tease, do annoying things, akting muka jahat (this is the reason why I like to akting muka jahat because I don’t want to smile, like I love to smile everytime. I want to fix my face emotion.
8. Lie ? What's lie do you mean? tell me
9. If you want to stray, please do so. Why should you stay if we can stray together? It is fun making friends with many people. Andri, Abang, Martan, Sakti, and everyone who you think now I'm choose to be with rather than with you, they are your friends too. If I'm khilaf because I laugh with them a lot than with you, it doesn't mean that you are boring then I choose to play with them. It doesn't mean I want to leave you. Does it feel like I rat you guys ? I am sorry. It's hard times. I don't know too what I should do. I'm not that good to be wise in order to solve this problem.
10. I tell it like it is
11. Engga ngerti artinya.

Dear Kuyung and Rideung, thank you for your time when nobody's there for me. Thank you for the laugh and the talk, I love our midnight talk very much. I love how you guys can make me tell something that I wouldn't tell to anybody else. I love our heart-to-heart session without having to be awkward about it, example talking about why do we always jomblo??? Hahaha nobody knows.  Also about our unhappiness and complaint toward each other, and even positive things inside us. I like the last one, hoho. I love talking and sharing something personal with you all cause you always have something good to say, something more than the typical "Sabar ya", something that makes sense, something that I need to hear.

And I'd love to have some more, more days to spend with you all. I'd like to know why the things are being so complicated right now. What makes you mad and the others thing that I might miss? You too, some time you broke your promises. You said you'll go out with me, but then you didn't want to go. I'm not that mad. Well, maybe my case is bigger so you deserve to be mad. I’m not a sensitive person. I’m sorry for being that kind of person.

Dear Kuyung and Rideung, you are the ones who help me growing up, the ones who help me realizing every little things I can't be aware of, the ones who slap my face and make me realize something I can't realize both good and bad things, hit my heart and fit it in the same time, the ones who help me opening my heart until I can have my story back, even tho it's way too late but I enjoy that very short moment with him and thank God I still can manage to be his best friend like I used to be. Haha YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. I like how I always make you laugh every time I said "aku selingkuhannya" and "tapi kan aku pihak ke nol". Itu ngenes banget tapi kusuka ternyata bisa bikin kita ketawa. The ones who give me birthday present every 26 October. I remember how alone I was in my 19th birthday. Nobody come to me. Suddenly you all guys came and brought me a present; it was a glass with our photos. Thank you. 

Dear Kuyung and Rideung, I know sorry is an easy thing to say. If you ask me to prove that I regret my mistakes, I’m sorry I don’t know how to do it, but if you ask do I mean it ? Yes, I do. Well, I think probably I’ll hurt you again and you'll probably think I'm not regret it, because I'll do some mistakes again. I still want to be friends with others too, going out with Andri and friends, and other friends. Tell me, how should I do it, without hurting you everytime I go with my other friends, so I can manage it. I’m full of mistakes, I’m not that good person, I often khilaf and often not realize it. If I do so, do you still want to be my friends? I seriously don’t think I’ll leave you. i'm very much thankful to have you as my bestfriends.

Aku sadar satu hal, aku belom jadi temen yang baik, but I'll try to be that. Bagusnya itu, gimana caranya kita menciptakan "saling" dalam lingkaran pertemanan kita. Saling ngerti, saling memahami, saling satu sama lain, bukan cuma satu aja yang berusaha, tapi semuanya. Dan aku juga, lagi berusaha. Satu hal lagi, engga perlulah aku bilang aku sayang kalian ato engga, kalau aku bilang sayang kalian percaya? Aku bukan tipe orang yang suka bilang sayang. Sok nilai sendiri aku sayang apa engga. Kalo misalkan menurut kalian enggak, aku minta maaf. Haha, maaf aku bilang maaf, sekali lagi. Semoga diterima!

With all of my heart,

Momo

Do you feel the same ?

The feeling of being outsider, ignored, and pushed away are annoying. It's when you feel awkward and clumsy in the middle of your friends conversation. It's like they don't know you're there or they know but they pretend to close their eyes. It is suck, seriously. It's like they see you, but give less or even no respond and when they see your another friend behind you, they're very excited. It's like they don't want you to be there, they block your way, and ask you to go away. It's not always "they", it can be one particular friend who is annoyed by your existence.

#WESBIYASA

ps. tiap nulis gini, selalu, selalu, mikir.. gue giniin orang juga gak ya ? kayaknya sering, huhu

An Opening Note in 2014

There are many things I learnt from last year. About friendship, missing opportunities, faith, luck, happiness, growing up things, and love. I know more about people around me, how they've changed and the uniqueness that I didn't see and the bad personalities which made me look at myself. Like, I think my friends are annoying they always mock me, well, maybe they think I'm annoying too. So, I should change my mind, if I want them not annoying I should not make myself annoying to them. They hurted me, but maybe I've hurted them even more. So, yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I haven't say proper sorry to you. Well, I can't say it all here now because I'm too lazy to write. Pardon moi. Ehehe

I hope in 2014 I can be a better me, a better Momo. More experiences, more joys, more happiness, more challenges, more surprises, more friends, and more more more love! I hope I can understand myself and people around me better. I hope I can be firm but friendly person and still sweet. I hope I can open my heart to little things that I used to miss. I hope many more people love to be around me. I hope I can be more useful. I hope I can get a good job, good time, and good money. Andddddddddd should I put a boyfriend on this list ? AHAHAHA *don't laugh, ok, don't laugh* I don't know too. I hope I get one too, but if it's not it's okay, I don't give a shit. I think I ccccannntt move on :"( I don't promise I will, because I won't. I've made a promise I will but I broke it over again and I'm tired. 

I don't think I've made a resolution. I don't wanna make a resolution. I just want to live my life to the fullest and enjoy every surprise that the life gives to me.

GRAB YOUR CHANCES BEFORE YOU REGRET IT, PLEASE, GRAB IT EVEN IF YOU KNOW YOU WILL LOSE BECAUSE 1 PERCENT HOPE IS STILL WORTH TO FIGHT FOR! IF YOU CAN'T GET WHAT YOU WANT THAT'S OKAY YOU'LL GET THE EXPERIENCES, THE MOMENT DURING THE WAY. THEN, YOU'LL GET MORE THAN WHAT YOU WANT. MAYBE IT WILL LEAD YOU TO THE RIGTH PATH. WHO KNOWS. JUST TRY. ASK. CONFESS. DO. DON'T BE AFRAID. #BIASA #AJA #DONG #MBAK #NGOMONGNYA

2014 IS THE YEAR OF THE BRAVE! 







ps.
terima kasih buat 6 bulan terakhir yang bener-bener sangat menyenangkan. makasih buat Section C-D (terutama C karena seringan di C) atas kehidupan mahasiswanya di Sampoerna School. Makasih buat geng jomblonya Galuh di Bentara Muda!!!! Makasih buat Keluarga Larva! buat drama-dramanya akhir-akhir ini.. meski aku bukan geng kalian, tapi plis aku mau berteman sama kalian ahahaha.. dan terakhir makasih buat warga kosan Pak Tukino atas penerimaannya selama ini juga hal-hal terkampretnya yg bikin patah nyambung hati ini gara-gara Dilan(ku) taulah siapa ahahaha, muah. Aku nggak bermaksud meninggalkan dan melupakan, aku sayang kalian. Aku lagi belajar mengenal diri sendiri dan orang-orang disekitar aku.

MAU LIBURAN

LIBURAN AKHIR TAHUN KE JAWA TENGAH JADIIN DONG TUHAN. PLIS PLIS PLIS. MAKE IT HAPPEN, PLEASE ? #EDISIDEPRESIPENGENBANGETLIBURAN

foto mencomot dari sini

Dieng, Grojogan Sewu, Solo, Jogja, dan sekitarnya aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak mauuuuu

PATAH HATI

Jadi ceritanya aku pengen banget jadi volunteer Hellofest dan udah siap siaga pantengin twitter hellofest tiap saat kalo-kalo ada pengumuman. Ternyata, aku gak tau kalo pengumumannya lewat telpon. Aku baru ngeh setelah kepoin twitternya barusan dan....... tiba-tiba aku mendadak pintar. Aku baru sadar kalo ada dua misscalled dari nomer jakarta pas lagi di perjalanan pulang dari Air Terjun Sri Gethuk, Jogja. Kemarin. 

SEDIIIIHHHHHHH :"(

Mungkin taun depan, lama ya.

ps. semoga aku ke-gr-an ye
pss. semoga bukan dari hellofest
psss. semoga emang ga keterima -_-

To the Person in front of Me

I hate you for being so selfish and not even realize it. You think I'm annoying and I think you're more annoying. I don't know how we can end up as best friends. I don't know how can you complain about our togetherness. You demand many things but you don't want to look at yourself. You cheer yourself and you blame others. I hate you when you're moping and don't even want to talk and avoid me. I hate you when you're so sensitive and you take every joke as sarcasm. I hate when I try to tell you what you shouldn't do because it's disgusting or norak or impolite, and then you get mad. You think I hate you, yes I hate you for being so stubborn. I hate your negative thinking. You don't believe people easily, you say, but you're easy to get deceived. I hate you for not to say sorry when you do mistakes. Well, not kind of sorry-abis-nginjek-sendal-sengaja. I hate when all we do is just misunderstand to each other. Never can communicate what we feel, what we think, and everything. I hate it. 

And I hate it because we're friends.

To Live Your Life to the Fullest

I remember my friend told me, "In our age now, we should have known what we want to be, like where we are going to be after we graduate, and what kind of job we take" 

I think about it seriously, and I still end up in confusion. I have many things I want to be. Sometimes I want to be a writer, a journalist. I want to work in creative industry. But I also want to continue my study. In my master study, I want to take teaching methodology, but I also want to take about young learner, and applied linguistics also. Ah, and I want to be a teacher too. I don't know which one should I choose. Ah, what a shame!

Then, I remember my other friend asked me, "When will you grow up?! " after having such silly chats about being ourselves. He asked me to go diet for my best and I asked him back, why can't I be fat and be free from people's comments. Then, we talked about people's expectation thingy and we had different perspective about it. Already, bro. I've already grown up. And I'm still growing. Hey, tell me about grow up things. If I don't live my life like common people in our age means I haven't grown up? If I choose not like what other people choose commonly means I'm retarded? If I think differently from common people means I'm stupid?

And I remember my lecture said this afternoon, the most funky and inspiring lecturer I have ever had, "Choose the things you are best at. You'll be shining there"

Again, it's an I-am-too-coward-to-break-the-wall-alone-because-not-many-people-can-understand. Well, I wish I could be brave to be everything that I want --> I want to live my life to the fullest. I want people around me accept me no matter how different I am. And really thanks for those who already support me, be my friends, who think I'm unique, smart, beautiful, cute, and so other good things =D I'm blessed <3

ps.
At this age, you're questioning this. Poor you, Momo.

Sebuah Pertanyaan

Seorang temen ceceritaan-paling-absurd-abad-dua-satu pernah bilang, "Tuhan itu bekerja secara misterius termasuk soal cinta, perasaan, dan jodoh". Semisterius ketika Dia membiarkan manusiaNya masih bisa merasakan cinta bahkan ketika ia sedang patah hati, gitu ya? Aku makin ngga ngerti urusan hati. O God whyyyy?

Harusnya bersyukur, ye. Tapi ini kontradiktif banget. 
*terus merasa gak tega mau curhat banyak.. aaa aku telah menduakan skirpsiku*

eh tapi emang gak semua harus dijelaskan disini, kan? dan aku kan emang potongan rahasia yang harus kamu susun sendiri *cling* (duh, ngomong apa sik) *brb balik lagi revisi*

Merayakan Kesedihan

Daritadi aku menebak-nebak isi hatimu, tapi yang ada aku jadi makin tersiksa. 
Bagaimana kalau nyatanya salah? dan aku terlanjur percaya, selama ini. 
Rasanya seperti jatuh ke tebing tapi ngga tau dalemnya seberapa.
Yang ada hanya... terjun bebas tanpa pernah menyentuh dasar. 

Aku ingin menangis! tapi yang ada aku akan semakin sakit. 
Aku ingin merindu!  tapi merindu malah membuat ketidakhadiran semakin terasa. 
Aku ingin mengenang! tapi mengenang justru membuat kehilangan semakin nyata. 
Ah!

Nggak kerasa sepanjang malam ini aku habiskan dengan diam. 
Berusaha menempatkan kembali isyarat-isyarat pada maknanya. 
Namun tak juga aku berhasil. Aku nggak ngerti apa-apa! Aku bingung.
Aku aja nggak pernah bisa membaca isyaratmu, apalagi merangkainya!
Untuk semua hal-hal tersirat yang kamu suratkan padaku,
aku merasa kamu ada, namun disaat yang sama kamu entah kemana. 

Lalu akhirnya aku menyadari,
bahwa kesedihan tak kan sempurna jika tidak dirayakan dengan...
pesta air mata.

Gravity

To one name in this photo, one big name.

So, now you're confuse and it makes me confuse even more. You say, between two things you need to choose one, but you can't choose, but you must. Then you break yourself and so do your options. Is that? You're a real brat, huh. But anyway, why should I make myself confuse? I don't know.

I'm too stupid at reading signs, too. I don't know what happen on you, what I want, and everything in between. I don't know what to do. To be honest, I'm afraid I'm the one who's playing bad. But I have faith on you. You know what you have to choose, I know you know. You can feel where your heart is heading to. You need to feel it more. 

Murakami said, "People’s hearts are like deep wells. Nobody knows what’s at the bottom. All you can do is imagine by what comes floating to the surface" ..and if you do so, what you get is all wrong. I assure you. You never can imagine what's inside mine. You'll never know if you never ask. If you never ask, the answer will always be no. Good luck.

Depok,
Kosan Ivon
3.01 am

ps: bahkan pas lagi main sama ipong dan julpi pun semua perhatian masih tertuju padamu, oh anak nakal.

Cerita Kemarin

Kemarin Jumat aku main ke Depok lagi. Jam 9 malem baru berangkat naik kereta dari Kalibata, dan penuh bangetttttttt. Seperti biasa ngegalau ga jelas sama Ipong, Sopia, dan Julpi. Kami ke Warung Pasta sampe tengah malem, cuma minum dan ketawa-ketawa. Abis itu hebring nganterin Sopia pulang mau lewat luar apa lewat jalanan penuh hantu di sekitaran Kober. Abis nganterin Sopia, kami langsung pulang. Ceritanya mau sok berani lewat jalanan yang ada Miss K. Kami berhasil nyampe setengah perjalanan. Tapi karena aku ama Ipong gak kuat iman dan Julpi gak mau dianggep banci karena didempet dua wanita seksi macam kami, akhirnya kami puter balik lagi. Agak bego sih. Tapi sumpah ya jalanannya sepi banget, ada banyak bangunan kosong gelap-gelap pula dan gak ada orang lewat, pokoknya mencekam. Eh pas nyampe di kos Ipong, kami malah main jujur-jujuran sambil curhat mengungkap tabir masa lalu. Permainan yang super kampret itu berakhir jam SETENGAH LIMA PAGI! hahahaha. Tiba-tiba aku merasa sangat berdosa mengingat fakta bahwa aku (dan julpi, tapi sepertinya dia ga merasa apa-apa) adalah mahasiswa semester akhir. Aaaaakk.

Btw, aku, Ipong, dan Julpi udah temenan dari SD. Jadi inget, aku dulu dipanggil Sancai, ahahaha, dan Ipong adalah emaknya Sancai. Aku ama Ipong satu geng gitu ahahaha. Julpi mah dia tukang usil. Pernah dia narik kursi aku pas lagi berdoa mau pulang, kan berdiri tuh, eh pas mau duduk kursinya ilang dan aku ga sadar, dan aku kejedot meja, terus aku nangis.... saat semuanya diam. Fak. Lalu pas SMP-SMA, aku ama Ipong beda kelas, jadi gak terlalu deket :"( Sama Julpi sih satu kelas pas SMA. Tapi ya gituh. Aku ama Julpi lulus duluan. Eh pas kuliah kita deketan. Udah kayak keluarga :") *peluk dan ciyum satu-satu, mwaaah*

Ipong: Kalian jangan lulus dulu dong. Nanti aku main sama siapaaa :"(

Ya kali pong -___-

KITA UDAH GEDE YAA :D 
GAK SABAR WISUDAAA~ KALIAN HARUS BANGET DATENG!

Twillight

Hi, Kid. I think I'm falling for you, but I decide to the best that I could.. I deny it.

Tiramisu Bliss

I'm very grateful I can be your friend. The way you treat your friends is the kind of treatment that I like. Your friends who are also my friends always say that you are a very nice person. It's true. Maybe you feel bad at some points. That's okay. That's life. I don't care what they say about you though. You're great. You always have something good to say. And it's cool you manage to keep it that way. I like how I share some shit things with you can be soooooooo fun :---D I wish we could be friends forever. I wonder when we're apart and time flies 10 years ahead, how do you look like? How does your spouse look like? How many kids do you have? Will you still remember me? It must be so fun meeting you again when we're already become a parent. Hahaha. Wish we had a life that we want. Wish our dreams did come true. And graduate next year! Oh I think I'm gonna miss you at that day.