(105/366) A Bit Hurt

I always feel uneasy when I'm speaking. I feel like, for people, I always be something they laugh at. Funny, silly, never been serious. Then, yeah some people say it makes me look stupid. I wanna speak serious, give some advice, be wise, and try to comfort you. But, those words don't want to come out from my mouth. And in the end, I produce smiles. I hate it!!!!


Why do I don't have any expression but smiling and keep smiling?? I'm sad then I'm smiling, I'm panic then I'm smiling. I'm shocked them I'm smiling. I am totally a stupid moron. I don't know I hate this. Like, well, they just come to me when they need something to make them happy. Something that they can laugh at. It makes me realize that being a person like this is actually hurting in some points. Yes, it's hurt. Not because you make me look silly, but more because I can't be the one who can comfort you when you're sad. Smiling makes anyone upset even more. Then you will stay away from me. It's hurt when people leave you because you always smiling and act silly, which usually it can make them laugh hard.


I really wanna speak inspiration but people think it's impossible.